Head Up…
Sometimes I wonder what goes through people's minds and...sometimes I am so thankful I don't know what goes through people's minds!
They do say the human brain is a complex organ which is probably why we (humans) behave so bizarrely at certain times...well a lot of the time! There are things that I have seen, heard and experienced in the last few years that I never thought I would live in my lifetime. Things that have moved something deep inside of me to question a lot of things that happen and don't happen, in my family, community and the world…I could write a book on this and maybe one day I will but for now, let’s focus on something that has crept up on us rather quickly…
You see…they also say that we are a very privileged generation. I say that we may not be as privileged as they say! I get that many of us have never had to experience some of the difficulties and atrocities that our parents, grandparents and ancestors had to endure. I mean, I remember my paternal grandmother, Maria Carmela Lettieri, telling me a story as a child that she made her way to Brazil from Italy in the 50's by ship. She was at sea for months with a young child and at times had to soak mouldy bread in water to soften it up to feed her son as they had nothing else to eat. Yes, they had it tough, SO tough and, when I compare what they went through to the "troubles" we have today I can see why some say we are privileged.
Thing is...way back when they had connection, community & family...things we have little or non off and for that I feel that the privileged ones were our parents, grandparents and extended ancestors.
Yes of course I value the science that has developed medicine, found cures for disease and technology for allowing us to see and speak with family and friends overseas but, I mourn the lack of connection. Yes, I have technology and I use it...computer, phone, TV etc but why is it that people these days choose to go from one screen to another, to another and another even when they have a person or people right there in front of them? A person they could be speaking with, laughing with, dancing with, planning with, crying with or simply loving with...why? Are they running away from something and if so...what are they running from?
More and more I see people's heads buried in devices and more and more it seems like no one cares. Sometimes I walk through the Brisbane CBD mall during my lunch break and have to dodge people who have their eyes down glued to their device as they scurry to get to where they are going...I bet you know exactly what I mean as you to have probably experienced this at some point or another.
Most recently I caught a train from Brisbane to the Gold Coast and boy did I feel...sad. As I settled into my window seat I felt a rush of excitement as the thought of looking out the window at the changing scenery for the next hour entered my mind. As the train began to move I noticed others were settling into their seats too but there was not ONE person looking up (except me), everyone had their head buried in a device…below is an actual picture of what I saw…sadly this is far too common in the world we live in today…
Why do I find this so absurd and sad?? I hear you mumbling under your breath “It’s their lives, they can do what they please” And you know what? You’re right. But, it pi$$es me off. People complain about kids and teens not being how they “used to be” (eg like them!), that kids & teens are always on their devices, that people don’t have real conversations anymore, that people no longer have social skills etc etc BUT, those SAME people are engrossed in a bright screen MOST of their day!
Head up…if you did this for a mere moment to really see what is happening you would realise you are or have helped create everything you are complaining about! YOU are doing what the kids and teens are doing and you’re not even a kid…or a teen! You happen to be an adult who wants others to behave a certain way, a way you don’t even behave in. Like it or not you have helped create the “on screen” culture you complain about by doing it yourself. I am guilty of it and so are you.
Social media my @ss! It should be called anti-social media…there is nothing social about spending hours scrolling on a screen. We created this culture so it is up to us to change it.
What now? Eyes up every chance you get. Ride the bus or train looking out the window, spot something different during every trip. Leave your phone at your desk or in your pocket as you leave the office for lunch, smile at someone different at every break. Have a no phone rule at meal time or restaurant outings, talk to the people in front of you and if you’re alone, take in the scenery no matter where you are. But most importantly…engage personally with those you love. Create the connection that only face to face conversation can. And if your loved one is across the world use FaceTime instead of anti-social media or texting, eye contact creates a feeling of deep connection that a text cannot.
Thing is everyone…time is passing us by…soon all of this will be a distant memory and those we love deeply will no longer be around. Those people you make rich by watching countless hours of their youtube videos as your loved sits alone in the same house, those people you also make rich by waking up early to play their video games for hours as your loved one wakes up alone and, those people you spend hours “following” on a daily basis when you have no idea what your loved one did for the day…those people will not be there for you in your toughest hour.
Over 2 years ago I delete my social media accounts, I created Echoez, I express to those I love that I want more connection (eg one on one, play board games, talk etc), I do my best no to work after hours, I catch up face to face with friends…I have a LONG way to go to get to where I want to be in terms of all of this. But the reason I have listed some of the things I have done is to show you I have started…I took the step forward. Now I ask you…will you join me in the quest to bring back pure, deep, real and exhilarating connections with those you love?
With Kindness,