The other day I was listening to my playlist on shuffle on my way in to work. As the train zoomed between stations my music went from heart pumping & hip shaking beats to soothing & slow breathing ballads. It wasn't long before I noticed that as the music vibrated in my ears, images flickered through my mind's eyes and...a tear rolled down my cheek.

As I fumbled in my bag for a tissue, I noticed that the images going through my mind formed part of a movie, a movie of my life. Deciding to pay attention to the images I soon realised why the sudden tears, why the uncontrollable smile, why the goosebumps, why the feeling of joy and it was right then that I was overcome with pride and admiration for...myself.

Queen B...that's me, Roberta! Kicking myself that it's taken most of my adult life for this to 'click' but, I won't kick myself too hard because I know that I had a lot of learning and evolving to do before I was aligned enough for this realisation to take place.

The 'B' in my Queen B stands for Beta, a nickname that my close family and friends have given me. Although I'm not small, cute and fluffy (lol) like the "other" Queen Bee, I do share some similarities with her buzzing majesty! It's these similarities that I had not seen up until the other morning, it's what 'clicked' and hit me like a ton of bricks and I realised..."Holly f&$k, I did it all when "they" said (to my face or behind my back) I couldn't, wouldn't or shouldn't and I came through the other end!" Not once, not twice, not three times but...many MANY times.

*I did not produce the picture above so all credit goes to the unknown artist.*

Now, when I say "they" I am being general eg a person or group of people (I knew or didn't know), an institution (eg school, work places etc) and society itself. No, I am not referring to any one person alone! So, don't go getting all strung up people! lol And you know what, sometimes “they” was actually me. I had many moments of weakness where my "ugly" inner voice and the "voices" of others got to me causing me to drop to my knees but…I never stayed down there long enough to smell the $hit people stir! With my legs trembling I summoned the guts to stand back up and face the light that gave me strength. I did this through lessons I'd learnt along the way AND...through the love and support of those that truly love me, my family and friends…my tribe.

Let me take you for a walk down "Queen B Lane", a journey where I proved to myself that "you can't, you shouldn't and you won't" isn't an option when "you can, you should and you will" will result in experiences, lessons, laughter, growth, tears and love that you wouldn't experience otherwise!

Dancing

Background Story…I started Brazilian dancing in Australia at the age of 10 so as you can imagine, other kids my age did not “understand” and thought it was weird. Weird meant I was picked on for being different, and picked on meant I was called names, laughed at, not invited to things other kids got invited to and so on. Then in my teens it did not let up, kids (mainly girls) only got meaner and introduced more “colourful names” for me. I’m not going to say it did not upset me at times because I would be lying but…it didn’t make me stop, I was proud of my culture and my love of movement through dance. Funny thing though, some of them (girls) even started dancing later in life too…bizzzzzar don’t you think?! haha ;)

Anyway, believe it or not adults can be pretty $hitty too when it comes to the words they use and the things they do to show disapproval and I heard it all! As you can see above, I clearly let what people thought of me and what they said to me stop me from dancing…NOT!

Moral of the story…do what makes you joyful and brings peace to your heart. Of course if that includes physically hurting someone then don’t do it! lol But you know what I mean! You’re entitled to being happy, we all are.

Businesses

Background Story…anything creative has always been right up my alley! Photography and fashion design were things I went on to study once I finished high school. I was always “reminded” that there was a small chance either of these things would put a roof over my head and that I should look for a “real” job. Young, inexperienced and scared I listened and went on to work in areas that were far from creative for many year.

In saying that, I continued to dabble in the creative world whenever I had the chance. From taking scissors to a top cutting it here and there to make it my own style or, fraying a pair of jeans in weird and wonderful ways!

Eventually I got the guts to reach out to a very good friends of mine, Saionara, who was one of the best designers in Brisbane and owned Beach Brazil and ask for help in getting my own line started. Saionara helped bring some of my fitness wear ideas to life and Orixa was born…my very first business.

From there Saionara and I combined forces and opened Tukan where we released the fitness 1Zee. We went on to sponsor the V8 event at the Gold Coast and our 1Zee’s were worn by over 15 grid girls!

LYSM, Love You So Much came soon after, a place where I could remind people to be kind and spread Love! And of course Echoez, a continuation of LYSM where it’s all about what we echo out into the world.

Moral of the story…do it! Don’t do the same mistake I did and let people talk you out of giving your own business a go, learn from my mistake and go for it. Bring your ideas to life and give it a go! My only advise is…do it for the love of what you are creating and not to focus on making gazillions of dollars lol. I mean look at "My Bits” blog here on Echoez…I don’t think anyone reads it especially because I don’t advertise it on social media as I don’t have it BUT…I’m doing it…I keep going because I LOVE being creative and expressing myself whether people see it or not.

Modelling

Background Story…I did share above in “Businesses” that I love and even studied fashion so, it’s only fitting that I love to try on different looks! As a young girl I thought it was so cool that models got to try on so many different clothes and I remember wanting to become a model just to get to play dress ups like they did but…”you’re too short, your butts too big, you have thunder thighs (yep, you read right!), you need to loose weight” are some of the feedback I got when I shared wanting to model.

I am SO lucky to have some very talented friends who have/had their own clothing, beachwear, and or shoe businesses. Lucky for me these friends saw past my lack in height, my bubble butt and even my apparent thunder creating thighs lol So, every now and then they’d invite me to model their items. To say I am grateful to have the opportunity to represent their brand/s is an understatement!

Moral of the story…love your thunder! Everyone will have an opinion of you but that is THEIR opinion. The only opinion that matters about yourself is YOURS. Invest the time in getting to know yourself inside and out allowing yourself to appreciate the body and be thankful to the body you’re in.

Mothering

Background Story…mothering, there isn’t a right or wrong way to do it when it’s done with pure love and good intentions. As I see it, the way I mother will be different to the way another woman mothers as we have different children with different needs and personalities BUT…like most mothers, I did not escape the “you should be doing it like this” or “a good mother would do it this way” or “so and so does it that way and you should to” etc. It’s a real shame that unfortunately most of this so called “advise that comes from a good place” (oh please!) begins even before the child is born AND actually comes from other mothers themselves or worst still, a man who has never and will never be a mother!

I guess this is when being a little “strong headed” ;) is a good thing lol Don’t get me wrong, some of the “advise” did scare me and make me anxious, it created scenarios in my mind that played out horrible situations and, made me feel like I had failed even before I had embarked on the journey of motherhood. BUT, that strong little noggin of mine and “if you tell me I can’t I will” attitude outweighed everything else and, together with great role models (such as my own mother and a couple of good friends) helped me turn in to superwoman when the other option was to crumble and give up. Because of this, most of the time I was able to trust my gut when it came to birthing and raising my children and the result, the result is pure love and joy in the form of Jordan and Indyara and the relationship I have with them.

Jordan and Indyara are not MINE, they belong to themselves and I have done all I can to raise them to know that. Yes I have been (some would say I still am lol) a “helicopter” mum and, there are things I could have done differently but like them, I was learning too. I was gifted the blessing of guiding them in this lifetime and I have never taken that lightly, its the best yet scariest blessing of all time! In our relationship as mother and child, both they and I will continue to learn and grow until the day we leave this lifetime. I am not a believer of “my job is done” when a child turns 18 and is considered an adult, no, it is never done! My job is never done in ALL areas of my life, NEVER! There will ALWAYS be room for lessons, growth and improvement. When we think something is “done” we create room for breakdown as a child, relationship, work, study, physical and mental health is always growing and evolving so…by thinking it’s “done” we would not be able to grow and evolve with it…get it?

Moral of the story…No one knows your children, relationships, work, health etc better than YOU! Trust and follow your own gut and instincts when it comes to you and your path. Yes, listen to the constructive “advise” that comes from people from a place of love. We can and should learn from those that have come before us who offer their wisdom from the highest good. When we do that and when we listen to our core we align and in turn we create pure joy and light…the very magic you can see in the beings that are Jordan and Indyara and, in their connection as brother and sister.

Stay true, be you.

With Kindness,